1. How did you become a Couch Bro of the week?
My boy Shawn slid into my dms and was like, “hey man, I got this couch we want you to sit on and let us take pictures for a thing we’re doing”. I asked, “does it involve having to get naked?”. He said, “nah man, just sit there and be cool”. And I said, “Are you sure? Because I’m totally cool with nudity… but ok. I’m down” (the conversation may or may not have gone exactly like that, but… Still. Here I am)
2. Tell us something weird about yourself.
Thanks to having these Mexican genes, I can gain 17 lbs in one sitting, just by simply looking at tamales… And there’s just no way I’m not NOT going to look. No ragrets.
3. What was the last picture you took with your phone?
A picture of a small black dildo at Red Rocks Amphitheater just outside of Denver. His name’s Kevin. He’s the house mascot. Quick back-story on this- We had a white elephant gift exchange during a going away party for a close friend a few months back, and I ended up being the proud owner of a brand new, tiny black dildo. So instead of throwing it away or donating it to the homeless, I decided to create an Instagram for it and record all of it’s adventures. If you think this is weird, that’s because it is. But it’s also pretty hilarious.
4. What’s your favorite tv show?
“Californication”, for sure. It reminds me of my life. Heart’s in the right place, morals have FOR SURE been misplaced. Also, I’m not as witty and there’s less sex involved, and more physical violence (for sport). And there’s always the relatable emotional damage, it’s in there too, somewhere. And I admire the friendship that Hank has with Charlie, it’s similar to my best friend and I, except we’re both Hank Moody. A very dangerously close 2nd is, “Archer”. So close that you might even say it’s in the, “Danger zoooooooone!”
5. If your life was a tv show what would it be called?
“Why am I like this?” starring a young handsome John Stamos, narrated by Tom Segura, Hannibal Buress, or Daniel Tosh. It’s a story about a guy, trying to find himself while trying to fight off temptation, infidelity, and cake. Spoiler alert, it doesn't work out very well for the main character. But it’s ok because there’s a lot of high-fiving and drunken ridiculousness throughout the whole show.
6. Who is someone you would love to be stuck in an elevator with?
This is too easy. Food. Next question.
7. If you had a memory erasing device who would you use it on?
Oh, this Men in Black memory erasing thing that looks like the worlds most painful steel sex toy? How does it work? I’m looking right into the red light and I wonder what this button on the side does if I push…………… Wait, was was the question again?
8. Where can people find you on Social Media?
IG: @_rvbio snapchat: djrubio IG: adventures.of.lil.kev